From the photo, it appears that the older man is not happy about something. Perhaps it is something he has done, and perhaps the woman is his girlfriend or wife who is angry and unforgiving. This photo leads us to the case study, which deals with relational transgressions and forgiveness. In Chapter 9, we learned to define relational transgressions and that there is a difference between forgiveness, forgetting, and reconciliation. The purpose of this activity is to apply correctly the key concepts, principles, and suggestions from Chapter 9 to the case study.
Read the following case study and the instructions that follow it.
“My name is Jennifer. Three months ago, David bought tickets for us to see a concert. We had just started seeing each other when we bought the tickets and planned to attend the concert together. A few days before the concert, David texted me that he had to work that day. He said his boss told him that she expected a high demand at work that day and wanted him to come in on his day off. He said he wanted to give the tickets to a friend with whom he works. I told him that I understood and refrained from saying I was disappointed. I wished David would have given me the tickets so I could have gone to the concert with one of my friends. Later, when I expressed my feelings, David told me that he thought it was unfair that I go to the concert while he had to work. He said that he would make it up to me with something better.
The day after the concert, I stopped by his place so we could spend some time together and smooth things over for not going to the concert together. That is when he really surprised me. He said, ’Jennifer, I lied, okay. I went to the concert. I was afraid to tell you. Originally, when I made the plans, I didn’t think I would feel this bad about it. I wasn’t thinking, so I didn’t tell you that I took my ex-girlfriend, Tina, instead of you.’
My face dropped to the ground and I said, ’Why? Why? Why Tina? Why would you take your ex-girlfriend instead of me? Why did you promise to take me 3 months ago? Why did you tell me that your boss wanted you to work that day?’ I didn’t give David a chance to explain anything. I just told him I couldn’t accept him lying to me; it wasn’t fair. Then I stormed out of his place. I wanted so badly for him to realize that the best person for him just walked out the door and wasn’t ever coming back. I didn’t want to listen to him. I was so angry that nothing could change the way I felt.
David called me two days later and explained to me the real issue that he had avoided telling me. He said that before we met, he and Tina had agreed to continue their relationship as friends. He said that he had originally bought the tickets for them to go to the concert together, but then we started dating, and he wasn’t sure how I would feel about his friendship with Tina. David explained that he didn’t know what to do. He said, ’I avoided telling you, thinking you would never find out, but I felt so guilty I just had to tell you. If I promise to never do this again, will you forgive me.’ In my heart, I wanted to give him another chance, but my mind was made up. I told him I was not going to see him again. Before we hung up, he said that everyone deserves a second chance and I was being unreasonable. I heard him but my mind was made up.”
For this discussion, please engage in the following:
- Read the case study
- Jot down what concepts you read in Chapter 9 that might apply to this scenario
- Define what the concept(s) is that fits this case
- State what behaviors you see happening that substantiate why you chose the concepts you have identified
- Write a 250-300 word post where you put together #2 and #3; this post should be in narrative form
- Include references to the textbook in your post; use the APA style guide
- Make sure to proofread for grammar